Is this worse than mulletsgalore.com?

Why the F#$%K do you have a kid?

Brits Highlights Amazing Indie Products:

Shamwowzers!

You know him. You love him. Vince Shlomi has made a little green on the Shamwow, so to celebrate he got a hooker. Who wouldn't right? Ms. street walker got fiesty and clamped down on the pitchman's....tounge. Shamwow! Get kinky, right? Well, she wouldn't let go so ole' Vince decided to beat her up. Good move, dude. Classy.

Roxanne decided to take a few pics for the ensuing law$uit. Check it.

Get Psyched

A couple of things to help with the soul searching.


















Headdress: Click to listen to "Spirit Canyon Medicine Song" from their album Turquoise, available on limited edition vinyl (with digital download) from Mexican Summer. Don't forget the peyote, gringo.


















Daughters of the Sun: Click to listen to "Gong the Divider" from their forthcoming album Rings, available from Modern Radio Records on April 25. Buy a tabla and join the drum circle.

"They" Control Your Computer

"A vast electronic spying operation has infiltrated computers and has stolen documents from hundreds of government and private offices around the world...It can, for example, turn on the camera and audio-recording functions of an infected computer, enabling monitors to see and hear what goes on in a room." - NY Times.

Yes. They are following you online.

A school by any other name would be much less gay

What's in a name? If you are a crazy-ass religious fundamentalist, the answer is "A lot." Westboro Baptist Church, the Kansas congregation that believes that the deaths of US soldiers are God's punishment for a nation tolerant of gays (and I'm sure many in the GLBT community would only tepidly agree that the US is tolerant of homosexuality), is set to protest against a Maryland high school- open since 1962 - that is named after famed US poet Walt Whitman, who may have been gay.

The church argues that the name of the public school, "says A LOT about Maryland," and that the students who attend the high school "are taught Rebellion Against God 101 every day in every way." This actually sounds like a pretty sweet class (click here for link).

In other news, the church is thanking God for the impending floods in North Dakota, saying that the floods are a direct result of a North Dakota law barring the Westboro Baptist parishioners from protesting within 300 feet of a funeral (click here for link).

Just so you can see for yourself how crazy these people are, here is the homepage for the church.

Pop 'til you Drop

**Click to listen to "Fences"

I'm not afraid to say it, I love Phoenix, and I have for years. They crank out some of the best (quasi-) indie pop songs, which make good days better and bad days bearable. The new album is out May 29, just in time for some windows-down, volume-high, summer driving.

Anti-American News Briefs

It's a tough news day for the good ol' U.S. of A.

1. Red Meat (and the other whit meat) Kills: Researchers have found, after controlling for other factors such as smoking, that eating red meat every day increases the risk of premature death (link here). Americans like their red, red meat.
2. S.U.V.'s Perform Poorly on Safety Tests: Despite claims by suburban moms that they simply "feel safer" in S.U.V.'s, tests by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration suggest that this sense of security is misplaced (link here). Suburban moms are now conflicted as cars might be safer, but the Jesus fish decal just does not look right on a Volvo.
   
3. Japan Wins World Baseball Classic: Despite being "America's past time," it was the countries of East Asia that were playing in the championship round of the World Baseball Classic, with the US team not even reaching the finals. If the US auto industry can get bailouts because it is not competitive relative to its East Asian competitors, perhaps it is time for MLB to start lobbying to Congress for some of its own bailout cash due to the same reasons. Seems like roids need to make a comeback if America is to regain her prestige.
   

Music (video): Clues / Ex-Arcade Fire & Ex-Unicorns

Clues is made up of Bredan Reed (x-arcade fire) and Alden Penner (x-unicorns). They up the shop, working on a record that's coming out May 18th on Constellation. Now for your viewing pleasure.

News Briefs

1. It's All Downhill from Here (in a bad way): Researchers from the University of Virginia have found that people start to begin their mental decline at age 27, with the apex of mental capacity being reached by 22. In short, you're becoming either more stupid or stupider, I can't remember. (Link)
   
2. Abstinence-only Programs do not Work: Teen pregnancies have risen for the second year in a row, suggesting a potential trend that coincides with the fruition of the Bush-era abstinence-only sex education program. Maybe they need to make the abstinence pledge more strongly-worded, "I promise, promise, promise, promise not to engage in sexual intercourse before my marriage to a person from the opposite gender." (Link)
3. Chimps Gone Wilder: Fresh off a chimp's Xanex-induced rampage in Connecticut in February that left a woman in critical condition, scientists in the Republic of Congo have filmed chimps "armed" with clubs attacking beehives in order to "gorge on sweet honey." No word yet from the bear community on this new development. (Link)
   

Hari Kari for AIG execs.

I met Charles Grassley once at a high school leadership conference in Des Moines, struck me as a pretty decent guy. Between this and his call for mega-church IRS audits maybe he should think about switching parties.

Grassley: Suicide for AIG execs?

Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, seen here on Capitol Hill last May, suggested Monday that AIG executives should take a Japanese approach toward accepting responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

By TOM RAUM and JENNIFER LOVEN
Associated Press

Published: Tuesday, March 17, 2009

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested that AIG executives should accept responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

The Republican lawmaker’s harsh comments came during an interview Monday with Cedar Rapids, Iowa, radio station WMT. They echo remarks he has made in the past about corporate executives and public apologies, but went further in suggesting suicide.

“I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed,” Grassley said. “But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they’d follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.

“And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology.”

Grassley spokesman Casey Mills said the senator isn’t calling for AIG executives to kill themselves, but said those who accept tax dollars and spend them on travel and bonuses do so irresponsibly.

“Senator Grassley has said for some time now that generally speaking, executives who make a mess of their companies should apologize, as Japanese executives do,” Mills said. “He says the Japanese might even go so far as to commit suicide but he doesn’t want U.S. executives to do that.”

Meanwhile, joining the wave of public anger, President Barack Obama blistered insurance giant AIG for “recklessness and greed” Monday and pledged to try to block it from handing its executives $165 million in bonuses after taking billions in federal bailout money.

Obama aggressively joined other officials in criticizing American International Group, the company that’s fast becoming the poster boy for Americans’ bailout blues even as it protests that the bonuses were required by employee contracts.

The bonuses could contribute to a backlash against Washington that would make it tougher for Obama to ask Congress for more bailout help — and jeopardize other parts of the recovery agenda that’s dominating the start of his presidency. Thus, the president and his top aides were working hard to distance themselves from the insurer’s conduct, to contain possible political damage and to try to bolster public confidence in his administration’s handling of the broader economic rescue effort.

Obama said he had directed Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner to “pursue every legal avenue to block these bonuses and make the American taxpayer whole.”

Later, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said the administration would modify the terms of a pending $30 billion bailout installment for AIG to at least recoup the $165 million the bonuses represent. That wouldn’t rescind the bonuses, just require AIG to account for them differently.

On a separate track, New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo said Monday he would issue subpoenas for information on the bonuses after AIG missed his deadline for providing details. Cuomo said his office would investigate whether the employees were involved in AIG’s near-collapse and whether the $165 million in bonus payments were fraudulent under state law.

One reason that the AIG bonus giveaway is such a compelling story — and a politically troubling one for Obama if not neutralized — is that it offers a simple story line that appears to sum up ways in which the federal bailouts have gone awry.

“This is just the kind of issue that galvanizes public outrage,” said Paul C. Light, professor of public service at New York University. “It’s always the tangible stuff, the things that ordinary Americans can relate to.”

Bailout steps for AIG totaling over $170 billion since September have effectively left the federal government with an 80 percent stake in the faltering insurance giant.

Obama’s comments came on the same day a new poll showed slippage in his approval rating. The poll by the Pew Research Center showed it dropped from 64 percent in February to 59 percent this month.

Music: Simon Says No!

Reagan Spinning in his Grave

I blame Ronald Reagan for a lot - A LOT. Beyond the possibility that the his policies of deregulation and watering down rights for workers and consumers have made us worse off in the long run, he is responsible for some of the most unfortunate US foreign policies not committed by the G.W. Bush administration. In Reagan's divine quest to rid the earth from the tyranny of communism, seemingly unimportant things like state sovereignty and human rights had to be sacrificed. During the 1980s, the battlefield for this battle royale was not in the USSR or anywhere near the Iron Curtain, but rather in Central America.

Specifically, the backwater countries of Nicaragua and El Salvador - countries whose GDP at the time put them in the lowest decile, rivaling countries in Sub-Saharan Africa - were the locuses of Reagan's global war on communism. The former saw a ragtag group of rebels (along with support from the business community) ousting a US-backed dynasty who had ruled for five decades. This group, the FSLN, then held elections in 1984, which were regarded as fair by most countries other than the US. Reagan, undeterred by domestic Nicaraguan sentiments, funded a group known as the Contras to oust the FSLN and make the world safe for capitalism once again. While the FSLN were no angels, they had nothing on the US-financed Contras (see this).

In El Salvador, the group rebelling against the traditional oligarchy - the rebels were known as the FMLN - were never able to gain as much ground as their Nicaraguan counterparts, thanks in part to more direct US funding. Again, while no one's hands are clean in a civil war, the actions of the US-backed El Salvador government is horrifying (see: The Massacre at El Mozote).

Apologies for the banal history lesson, but despite Reagan's best attempts at ousting the forces of evil, I am happy to report that he is ultimately receiving his just desserts. On Saturday, the FMLN candidate in the El Salvador elections emerged victorious, ending 20 years of rule by the right-wing ARENA party. This comes on the heels of Daniel Ortega - the head of the revolutionary Nicaraguan government during the 1980s - being elected president in 2007.

Democracy has vindicated the former enemies of the world, but it was unfortunately purchased at the expense of thousands of innocent lives whose blood is on Reagan's cold dead hands.

Start your floor punching and vegan diet now.

EARTH CRISIS, WALLS OF JERICHO, REIGN SUPREME, BLOOD STANDS STILL, UNHOLY - 2009 TOUR DATES
5/1 New Haven, CT @ Toads*
5/2 Baltimore, MD @ TBA
5/3 Syracuse, NY @ Lost Horizon
5/3 East Rutherford NJ @ Bamboozle Fest
5/4 Detroit, MI @ Majestic Theatre
5/6 Minneapolis, MN @ Station 4
5/7 Milwaukee, WI @ TBA
5/8 Des Moines, IA @ TBA
5/9 Tulsa, OK @ Marquee
5/11 Denver, CO @ Marquis Theatre
5/12 Salt Lake City, UT @ In The Venue
5/13 Los Angeles, CA @ Key Club
5/14 Santa Cruz, CA @ Urgency
5/15 Anaheim, CA @ Chain Reaction w/ Force Of Change
5/16 Phoenix, AZ @ TBA
5/17 Albuquerque, NM @ TBA
5/19 Dallas, TX @ TBA
5/20 Austin, TX @ TBA
5/21 Corpus Christi, TX @ TBA
5/22 Houston, TX @ Java Jazz
5/23 New Orleans, LA @ High Ground
5/25 Winston-Salem, NC @ Oasis
5/26 Cincinnati, OH @ Mad Hatter
5/27 Cleveland, OH @ Peabodys
5/28 Toronto, ON @ Mod Club
5/29 Montreal, QC @ TBA
5/31 Albany, NY @ Northern Lights
* w/ Hatebreed, Vision Of Disorder

STOP THE PRESSES

Just in time to usher in the Ides of March, IRTJ is sad to report a most unexpected celebutante breakup: Bristol Palin breaks off engagement to some 18-year old dude (who also happens to be the father of her child--the child, in classic Palin tradition, is named Tripp).

First came Captain Morgan, then came baby in the baby carriage, then came a planned shotgun marriage, then came a rescinding of the marriage. I blame (in this order) 1) the schools, 2) Korn (and "hate rock" more generally, and 3) the liberal media.

In the case that you do not have a press agent to publicize a broken engagement, is it proper ettiquette to send an "Unsave the date" postcard out to friends and family?

IRTJ goes to the Dogs, part 1

Who wants an Ambien?

Tech: YouTube Music Player

Well this is just handy. Muziic is an iTunes-like interface that plays music from YouTube. Hurry and use it now before it gets shut down. Oh, and a 15 year old made it.

VIDEO PIZZA- funny stuff

Coolio's Not-So-Fantastic Voyage: Want to get away?

Coolio was busted with crack while boarding a Southwest Airlines flight. That's it. Just sayin'.
- Via HP

Music: Port O'Brien

*click image to play

Port O'Brien

Reblog: Arcade Fire vs. The Flaming Lips

Via ew.com

Argument - Wayne Cohen:
"I'm a fan of them on one level, but on another level I get really tired of their pompousness," Coyne said of AF. "We've played some shows with them and they really treat people like s---. Whenever I've been around them, I've found that they not only treated their crew like s---, they treated the audience like s---. They treated everybody in their vicinity like s---.'

Counter Argument - Win Butler:
"I can't imagine a reason why we would have been pompous towards the Flaming Lips, a band we have always loved, on that particular night, all those years ago. Unless I was way more jet-lagged than I remember, I hope I was less of a 'prick' than telling Rolling Stone that a bunch of people I don't know at all are really a--holes."

Hide the bodies

From the Minneapolis Star-Tribune

LANCASTER, WIS. -- The southwest Wisconsin trial of a man accused of trying to dig up a grave in Cassville to have sex with a dead woman has ended in a mistrial.

Jurors found 23-year-old Alex Grunke guilty of criminal damage to a cemetery and attempted misdemeanor theft but deadlocked on attempted third-degree sexual assault. Grant County Circuit Judge George Curry called a mistrial late Tuesday.

Authorities say Grunke, his twin, Nicholas Grunke, and 22-year-old Dustin Radke went to a Cassville cemetery in 2006 to remove the body of a 20-year-old woman killed the week before in a motorcycle crash. Radke told investigators Nicholas Grunke wanted to have sex with the body.

Assistant District Attorney Tony Pozorski says he will retry the case.

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Music: Suckers

*click image to play

Suckers

Bad Barbie! Bad, Bad, Bad.

Why so much hate?

"West Virginian delegate Jeff Eldridge has proposed a bill to ban the doll (Barbie), saying it influences girls to put too much importance on physical beauty at the expense of their intellectual development. But others say it's just a toy." via WTAP

Hey Jeff! The kids are on the internet now and probably looking at this.

MySpace Credit Card: Believe it or not?

Who better to teach an entire generation about financial responsibility than MySpace and Citi. One sends you spam porn and is a favorite of sexual predators. The other is almost broke.

This is just fantastic and totally for real.

Tron 2.0 + Daft Punk

Daft Punk is apparently going to lay waste to the soundtrack of Tron 2.0. Shine up your lightcycle for a 2011 release.



How about some fuzzy footage of a trailer from Comi-con? Yes.

Music (video): Blizten Trapper

Blitzen Trapper

Low Brow: Feline Bongloads

If you have a plastic box, a bit of garden hose and a six month old cat you can get really high. Apparently "Shadow" was "acting up and needed to cool out" so her owner tossed her in his MacGyver-like bong and blazed up. That's how they do it in Nebraska.

This is definitely taking animal cruelty to new heights (oh my).

P.S. The cat is with the humane society now (IRTJ loves animals) and Nebraska-Joe is still very high.

Cops gone wild (and not in a sexy way)

Apparently everyone on the West Coast is not as chilled out as "they" want you to believe. Case in point, the video below demonstrating what the Seattle Police Department does to 15-year-old girls who are "real lippy" and who are "basically trying to piss [the SPD officers] off." Hooray for authority and frontier justice.

Arts & Crafts: Flatpack pirates and a pinhole camera

Got some time on your hands? Maybe a color printer, scissors and a bit of tape? Then burn an hour or so making these dandies from Readymech. It's like origami but with instructions and adhesives. You can make some senseless desk ornaments or a working pinhole camera. Really, no lie.

Music: William Elliott Whitmore

*click image to play

William Elliot Whitmore